Friday, February 1, 2013

Kaptain's Log - February: A Private Little WAAAAGH!!!




A recent survey mission had the unexpected result of finding a long lost tribe of orks on a primitive planet. Tellyporting to the surface and meeting these distant cousins showed many basic traits of ork kulture had been completely lost to them. There was little fighting amongst them, and they actually co-existed with another humie settlement nearby. Trade had become a regular event between the two civilizations, where the orks mined raw materials for food and finished goods which worked out to the benefit of both people. They were a happy and quiet people which disgusted The Orkerprise crew to no end.

Kurk quickly went about teaching the primitives what it truly meant to be an ork, starting with a good dose of fungus brew. Once they could barely stand and started brawling over the slightest look, he began what he considered his most important lesson. "Da 'umies just fink dey's smarter 'an the orks but we know better! Dey tricked you into given them fings for other fings, when it all belongs to you's ta start wif! Da 'umies like using words and fightin' wif words is what dey taught, but there's a better way. A louder way. A killy way!"

Picking up a shoota, Kurk unloaded a full clip of dakka into a nearby grot. The firecracker-like bursts, the spray of blood, and the screams of pain re-awoke something primal in the orks. The gathered crowd quickly helped themselves to the spare shootas Kurk brought and began firing them wildly about. Grinning madly, the primitive orks finally realized what they had been missing all these years. And what a surprise the human settlement would have the next day...



We've had lots of skill challenges these month's so let's do something fun and simple for our second last month. The weapons your models have this month are the best of the best, elite beyond measure, and dead killy so your challenge is to find a way to improve your weapons! Bling out your dakka, add some kill tally's, convert in some big guns, or just put "The Emperor's thumbs up" on it. Just take any instrument of death your guys have and make it better. Be creative and have fun, because next month we've got the bonus round!

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